Writing Workshop – Day 2 Feedback

Hi everyone.

 

Some really good responses to the Day 2 exercises from our Writing Workshop.  We asked you to prepare essay plans using our ESSAY Outline A strategy.  Here is a sample, with my feedback in italics.

 With the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life. Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved? 

Introduction 

Bp1 covering importance of traditional ways. firstly, by telling strong impact of real face to face conversations secondly, healthy lifestyles significance 

 MIKE – Make sure that you BP1 covers the point of WHY it is important to keep it.  You must emphasise that face to face conversations and healthy lifestyles are important – and therefore we must keep them!  You will probably also need to explain why you consider face to face conversations important – the health one is fairly obvious.

Bp2 covering methods to attain this life style. firstly, promoting social meetups to avoid loneliness n phone addiction secondly avoiding sedentary life styles to avoid ailments 

MIKE – In BP2 I like the idea of promoting social meetups.  However, it is not enough to say “avoiding sedentary lifestyles”.  That is the goal – but here you need to explain HOW you will achieve that

Conclusion 

 Our July Workshop is full, but we are taking early registrations for August.  If you are keen to participate please message me.

Mike

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s