Here are my suggested answers for this week’s exercises on the theme of Crime. For subscribers, don’t forget to submit your responses to me for correction.
- Fears about drugs and other problems have convinced many sensible people that American Society is on the skids.
- America’s struggle with slavery was far bloodier than any other nation’s.
- Crime rates have always been much higher in America than in other affluent nations.
- The question is not how America compares to other countries but whether the traditional ways of containing violence have broken down
- The best available indicator of long-term trends in violence is the murder rate.
- Black-white differences in the incidence of violence have been diminishing
Our question this week was: In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels?
OK, so how do we approach such an essay?
The first thing to note is that this is an opinion-based essay. No need to discuss other arguments or use an on the one hand/on the other hand approach. The other important consideration is that there are two separate but related questions to cover. So my plan is to have an introduction, an opinion piece on why crime rates are increasing, an opinion piece on what governments can do, and a conclusion.
My introduction will paraphrase the question, and set out my arguments.
My first body paragraph will give my view that the income divide is one cause.
My second body paragraph will give my view that providing free education would help address the problem over time.
My conclusion must link back to the introduction.
I will give example but will NOT cite fake research.
So here we go.
The increasing incidence of criminal behaviour is a worrying feature of many cities around the world. Newspapers report on shootings, assaults, thefts and a multitude of other crimes with a monotonous regularity. In my view it is the increasing gap between rich and poor that is responsible for this trend, and that one way for governments to combat it is to introduce free education for all.
Recent years have seen an inexorable widening of the income divide in many countries, with the wealthiest individuals commanding an ever-growing share of a nation’s wealth. Nepotism, cronyism, and corruption act as barriers to those of lower socio-economic status seeking a better, more prosperous life, and the resulting anger and frustration drives many to criminal behavior. Little wonder then that in countries where corruption is endemic, such as in Indonesia, crime rates are on the rise.
The structural inequities that sustain the income divide may be addressed at their source by making education free and available to all. The gulf between the affluent and the poor is established early, through access to better-quality education in elite schools. Here the privileged develop networking ties that later extend into their working lives, as we see in the public school system in the UK. Free and accessible high quality education for all children would break this cycle, and provide a more level playing field for those seeking to improve their standing in life.
Undeniably, revamping our education systems is a long-term solution to an immediate problem. However, crime levels have risen stubbornly despite a host of other shorter-term initiatives. By tackling inequality in educational opportunity we reach to the ultimate source of crime. It might take time, but surely it would be an outcome worth waiting for.
That’s 289 words. I hope I have been able to show how an opinion needs to be sustained thoughout the essay, and that everything needs to be closely relevant to your argument.
1. In 2016, the number of recorded robberies in Victoria increased by almost 25%
2. When discussing crime figures, experts highlight that public perceptions can differ from reality
3. According to Professor Rick Sarre, police figures are always laced with difficulty
4. Professor Sarre gave the example of police having a crack-down on drunk-driving
5. The Australian Bureau of Statistics asks people whether they have been victimized by crime
6. In contrast to the headlines, New South Wales maintained an almost identical pattern.
As always, feedback and comments are welcome.
The IELTS Guy